Jo, you there?

Jo sat down on her table, the one beside the window. She could see her mother nourish the plants in the garden with water, just the way she had nurtured her daughters to be the women they are now. Grateful for the blessings, she turned to pen the thoughts welling up in her mind. Today, it was about ‘LOVE’ to her 50 year old self.

------

Dear oldie Jo,

Hope you have your perfectly brewed coffee by your side!

Love to you was an unknown notion-something that wasn’t much heard of during dinner table conversations or talked about in school or college. Like the rest, you did hear your pals and peers talk about it and experience it based on their instinct. While you understood the mindspace they came from, you didn’t feel the need to experiment. In the early years of adulthood, love seemed too superfluous to you. And in some proportions, you considered it as a distraction that would take you away from yourself and your family. Without judging others, you still felt very sure of what love was. You thought that you were crystal clear.

The calmness in the eye of a storm,

the stillness at the centre of gravity.

The brightness of the breaking dawn, 

the serendipity of a stoic supermoon. 

The raw innocence of a new born, 

the luminescence of first rays of the sun. 

Even with those seemingly fluent thoughts, you doubted yourself many times for being idealistic. “Maybe it was too rosy and dreamy?”-you would ask yourself. But, gradually, you formed a more specific description of how you would like love to be for you.

A smile that could open all closed doors of the mind 

A tight embrace that could loosen the twisted knots 

A nod that could free you of all doubts and ‘second thoughts’ 

A zone of no judgement, zero reflection and full absorption 

In other words, you thought that your relationship would be an ether-like enclosure enabling free-wheeling conversations and uninhibited exchange of thoughts. 

Growing up, the realities of the world crept in to awaken you from your self-created world. You realized that a partner doesn’t just need to be the best for you but also fit for your extended universe. As in, you had extended hands into parental responsibilities, professional aspirations, and social obligations. You were handling those by yourself without too much of difficulty. If that is so, would a partner only add responsibility? Seeing some relationships getting caught in that quagmire, you churned a more complex web of questions. You tried to find answers, by asking elders, friends and colleagues but to no avail. I want to remind you of some that you hopefully have answers to by now!

If love eventually becomes a burden, why do people choose it? 

Can one choose to not love or love? 

Is it love when people are falling for each other or when they are about to fall apart but don’t? Or is it the journey in between? 

If love is simple, then why does it die? And if it dies, was it love in the first place?

I remember you staring into the vastness of the sky wondering if you would ever find some clues or end up ‘falling prey’ to love! To your luck, your Aha moment happened exactly the place you started with. Your mother! You discovered that if love is ubiquitous and universal, it should be uniform in its foundation. Love is love irrespective of who it is for! You had seen your mother evolve for you, with you. She communicated her worries, her concerns and her thoughts with you every step of the way. She expressed how love is unconditional only till the point it is reciprocated in some way. She put up with your silence as much as your fierce dreams. She admitted her mistakes and gave you second chances when you fumbled along the curve. She chose to be with you every single day. You too would behave as if you had a separate heart for her which operated as per her well being.

That day, you stood reassured that if love is such a profound microcosm formed by the connection of two souls, it won’t wither. It will stand the test of time, no matter what form or shape you are in. It might see steep downfalls or sudden phases of passion, but it will eventually be a home you will keep coming back to.

And so you went on to travel the world and visit quaint places but ‘that’ home has been the safest haven. Of course, it demands your attention, energy and time but it makes sure that your vitality, ambition and optimism stayed alive. Even when the chilly winds of storm hit you in the face, you have love to bank on. Together you turn every adversity into an opportunity and every sacrifice into a memory. Love never stood in your way; instead, it pulled your attention towards other adventurous paths you could tread on!

So, is he there or was it you all the way? In any of the two cases, I am proud of you.

Love,

Jo

-----

Jo stroked her hair, loosened her ponytail and heaved a sigh of relief. An outpouring of thoughts gave her a sense of self-belief. Jo knew that her words were like pearls that needed to be strung to a thread once in a while; else they might lose each other. The water droplets on the grass had also found their way into the sky.